OK, so you don’t have the budget – now what?

It was September 28, 1970. John Wilkinson, founder of the London DMC (called a “ground operator” in those days) Wilkintours, and I were sitting in the mezzanine of the Expositions Room in London’s Royal Festival Hall.

We were there because I had a seven back-to-back charter group coming to London in February 1971. The quote was tight and after intense negotiation with the hotel we were faced with what we euphemistically called a “serious budget shortfall.” We could not afford lunch in the hotel for Day 3, but ... after a truly diligent search, we found that we could rent the Expositions Room, cater the lunch and still be within budget. Problem solved, right?

Ha. The world should be so easy. Today was our first inspection of the Expositions Room which was designed, as its name suggests, for large industrial exhibitions. The lovely hardwood floor, polished and shining, was at least as large as a basketball court and the only seating was on the rather narrow mezzanine that circled the room. In our favor was that the Royal Festival Hall had been recently renovated and was getting nice press and word of mouth. It sounded like an attractive lunch venue.

Sounded like that is ... until the guests were seated.

“This isn’t gonna work, John” I declared brilliantly.

“You’re right, Bob,” John replied just as brightly. “We must fill up the floor somehow.”

“With what?” I asked losing none of my dazzle.

“Well,” John suggested this time completing a Hail Mary, “maybe we can rent one of the Coldstream Guard boxes from in front of Buckin’em.”

Not to be outdone I suggested, “And maybe we could hire one of the guardsmen in his red dress uniform and big bearskin cap to stand at attention in front of the box , then perform a long about-face, or some military movement, every 10 minutes or so?”

Off we went to Whitehall Street and the headquarters of the Coldstream Guards. Because I was an American and Yank tourists were still relatively rare in London, we eventually got an audience with Major Trevor Sharp (a name right out of Hollywood but a real name and a real British Major ... right out of Hollywood), Commandant of Her Majesty’s Coldstream Guards Band. After explaining our budget predicament, the basketball floor impediment, the seven plane loads of Yanks who were coming and submitting our request for a Guard Box and a single Guardsman, Major Trevor Sharpe asked, “Why don’t you hire her Majesty’s Coldstream Guards Band?”

“We had no idea the Coldstream Guard ...” I don’t remember if we said it out loud or just shrieked it in our heads, “were for hire!” But we did recap our budget pickle.

We must have said it out loud as the Major replied, “Well, they never have been (hired), but I see no reason why we can’t work something out to please the Yanks. After all they did do us a service in the last few wars.”

In conclusion, Major Trevor Sharpe “rented” the Coldstream Guards Band to us for (the equivalent of ) $600 U.S. per performance.

We created a staple highlight of every proper incentive trip to London for the last 40, and the next 40, years. Because we were out of budget.

OK, so now tell me you don’t have the budget ...